


baby, don't save me

by iamyouropus (adieu_sweetamaryllis)



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 06:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5279504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adieu_sweetamaryllis/pseuds/iamyouropus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessica Jones has always had a savior complex, and Trish would be lying if she said she didn’t love her for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	baby, don't save me

 Jessica has always had a savior complex.   
  
The poor girl couldn’t help herself, and Trish couldn't really blame her. After all, Trish’s friendship had probably done more harm than good in that department _._ From the moment they’d met, Trish had always been in need of rescue, and Jessica was her semi-reluctant hero (and the reluctancy was probably all an act to begin with, if you asked Trish).   
  
_Don’t save me_.  
  
Their friendship began with that promise. The two teenagers had learned things about each other in the few short weeks they knew each other than anyone else had in their lifetimes, and as such had reached an understanding: no one else could know their secrets.   
  
_A stalemate_ , Jess had called it. _Checkmate_.  
  
Trish was determined to win this challenge. She was going to see it through until the end. So they made a deal.  
  
Jessica had gone back on it in less than a week.    
  
_You promised not to save me_ , Trish insisted.  
  
But there was no use in arguing, she could see it in the other girl’s eyes. Jessica couldn’t stand to see Trish in pain. She didn’t care if it meant exposing her secret; she had to save Trish.   
  
_I can’t help it_ , Jess said, and she meant it.  
  
Their friendship blossomed from there. For the first time in Patricia Walker's life her mother was not in control of her. And from that moment on, Trish knew that her friend was meant to be a hero.   
  
Jessica has always had a savior complex, and Trish would be lying if she said she didn’t love her for it.   
  
//  
  
Jessica disappears for six months and its the longest that Trish has gone without hearing her voice in a decade. Even when she had been under Kilgrave’s command she had still called.  
  
She makes herself sick— she replays a voicemail Jessica had left for her during that time. It’s short, and god knows whether it was Kilgrave’s doing or Jessica’s at that point. Jessica could be dead for all Trish knows and hearing her voice isn’t a very big comfort. She’s disgusted with herself, but she’s lonely and it’s one in the morning and the house is _so_ empty. Jessica’s room is empty.  
  
She decides to do something about it. Jessica is gone, she’s been gone for months and if she wanted Trish in her life she would’ve given her a sign by now. She gets rid of all of her stuff — well, she tries to, but she ends up getting it all put into storage. She can’t bring herself to throw anything away. If Jessica wanted to come back, all of her things would still be there, just sitting in a container a few blocks down.  
  
It feels so lonely, without her best friend. The two had been by each others side for a decade. Jessica had been there for everything she’d ever done, supported her, _loved_ her in a way that was real and genuine for the first time in her life. Trish may have paid the rent, but Jessica was what had made this place home.    
  
She decides to put in a home gym. Jessica isn’t around to protect her anymore. Trish doesn’t have super strength. She needs to train.   
  
//  
  
Trish is not sure how to feel when Jessica shows back up on her balcony the next week.   
  
She’s abrasive, and Trish understands why but she can’t accept it. It’s not fair. She has to fight for this, for them, even if it seems to be hurting Jess.  
  
Trish isn’t the hero, here. She wants to be selfish, to push her way back into her best friend’s life. It would be wrong, but it would work. Jessica couldn’t resist her for too long. But Jessica insists on keeping her safe, on saving her by never seeing her.  
  
Trish isn't a hero, but she’s willing to be selfless enough to let Jessica have what she want. It’s the least she can do.   
  
//  
  
Or at least she tried, she really did. But Jessica wouldn’t answer her texts and she didn't even know what part of the world the girl was in. She was worried.   
  
Jessica doesn’t look happy to see her. But Trish is. She's so happy that she’s still here in the city, that she didn’t run away.   
  
Still, Trish walks closer. “I’m scared for you.”  She shouldn't be chasing her. She's selfish for it but she doesn't care. She hasn’t slept since Jessica told her that Kilgrave was back, that he could be coming for her at any time. Yes, she had told Jessica she needed to stay, but that didn’t mean she was comfortable with her being in danger.    
  
She follows Jessica to her new place. She can’t just let her walk away. Jessica invites her, anyway, so she doesn’t feel that bad for intruding. Trish tries not to comment as she looks at Jessica’s new apartment. She tries not to add up the number of ways a person could easily break in here, all the places they could hide while Jessica is stubbornly unprepared. Trish had made her apartment nearly impenetrable, and yet here is Jessica, living in a publicly listed apartment with a door that doesn’t even work.  
  
She isn’t safe here, but Jessica won’t let her worry. Still, she catches the tone in Trish’s voice, notices the way her eyes linger a moment too long on the open windows.    
  
It’s not long before she tries suggesting Jessica move back in with her on more time. Jessica doesn’t take it well, still thinks that protecting Trish is her responsibility. She chooses her words carefully to hurt Trish, but just enough to push her away.   
  
It won’t work. Trish insists on it, but Jessica won’t listen.   
  
“I can’t risk you,” Jessica says. She means it in so many ways, and Trish swallows hard. She understands.   
  
Before she had a chance to talk herself out of it, she's gathering her things before heading for the door.   
  
//  
  
“You’re cutting me out so you don’t have to worry about me,” Trish puts it bluntly when Jessica is finally talking to her again. It’s just a phone call and not a visit, but she’ll take whatever she can get.   
  
She tells Jessica that she doesn’t need protection, and surprised when she listens. For a moment, a split second, Trish thinks she has her old friend back on the other end of the line.   
  
The illusion doesn’t last for long after she hangs up. Her trainer is waiting for her, gun cocked, and reality comes crashing back in.   
  
//  
  
Against all reason, Trish challenges Kilgrave on air. She just wants to get a rise out of him, to get him to admit he exists. What she gets is worse.   
  
Officer Simpson.   
  
_God_ , she had been so stupid. She knew what Kilgrave could do and she still let a stranger into her apartment. And such an obvious choice, too. Who could say no to a police officer?   
  
She fought, hard. Trish didn’t want to die, she had gone to such great lengths to make sure she was safe.   
  
It wasn’t enough.   
  
Her vision grows blurry as his hands close tighter around her neck. She barely registers Jessica as she rams into the police officer, knocking him away. She’s vaguely aware of Jessica calling her name above her before everything grows black.   
  
//  
  
She’s not dead, after all. Jessica had saved the day once again.   
  
//  
  
Trish is an excellent driver. But she didn’t react fast enough. She didn’t see the men pull up around them, surrounding them. She barely catches a glimpse of the one in her window before he puts the electric rod to her, knocking her out.  
  
Jessica doesn’t know what to say to make her feel better, and Trish isn’t sure that there is anything to say. She’s not like Jess, she’s not a hero. She can try as hard as she wants but she’s just a radio talk show host. Her best friend was going up against an impossible enemy and she was useless, powerless, unable to do anything to help.   
  
//  
  
She doesn’t want to see Jessica again until she has something to show for herself. She'd failed, and she needed something to prove her worth. Not to Jessica, but to herself. She didn’t deserve to be around Jessica, who doesn’t even seem to want her there, unless she could contribute. Protect.   
  
It turns out to be a pretty big mistake when she finds out what Jessica had been planning while she was away.   
  
She tries to talk her out of it. Malcolm helped her, thank god, because Jessica was about to hang herself.   
  
Her plan was terrible, and she knew it. Trish can’t just let Jessica leave, to rot in a cell — everyone needs her, _she_ needs her. They have to work together.   
  
Trish knows she’s not going to convince her, but she sits next to her on the bare mattress anyway.   
  
“I’m still not the hero you wanted me to be,” Jessica says solemnly.   
  
Trish frowns. “You’re exactly the hero I wanted you to be.”   
  
//  
  
The next time they speak, Jessica is with Kilgrave. Trish is terrified.   
  
Simpson wants her to step away from Jessica, to get out of her way. He tries to convince her it’s what’s best. They aren’t superheros, after. But maybe Jessica could be.  
  
In the end, she can’t just leave her best friend with a monster. She doesn’t have to. Jessica shows up at her doorstep that night. Trish hugs her tightly, knowing that it could be a trap, a trick, that Kilgrave could be controlling her. But if this is Jessica, if she’s _here_  and managed to escape again, it’d be a miracle. For what it’s worth, if Jessica was under Kilgrave’s control she doesn’t reveal it immediately, returning her hug with a single hand on her arm.  
  
Trish pulls her inside.  
  
Jessica explains all the ways Kilgrave is fucking with her. No, she’s not under his control, and Trish believes that. Kilgrave seemed just screwed up enough to toy with Jessica like this. And yet she wants to stay with him. It should unsettle Trish, but it doesn’t. It makes sense.  
  
Jessica Jones is a hero. She wants to make this right.   
  
//  
  
They devise a way to push Kilgrave to his breaking point. It won’t be pretty, but it’ll be proof. Hope will get out of jail and then they can find a way to deal with Kilgrave so he could never hurt anyone again.   
  
But then what happens is so much worse.   
  
He escapes.   
  
“Put a bullet in your skull Patsy,” he barks on his way out, and she raises her gun until it presses against her jaw and pulls the trigger. It doesn’t work, and she barely gets to feel a brief wave of relief wash over her before the need returns to obey his command.  
  
She’s sitting there on the floor like an idiot and she doesn’t know how long she’s there, shoving a bullet against her temple. Her head aches so badly, but she can’t stop.   
  
She bites Jessica when her friend tries to stop her. Thank god that isn’t enough to drive her away, because Jessica knows what she’s doing; she shoves a bullet into Trish's mouth and the driving need finally stops coursing through her.   
  
//  
  
Hope kills herself. Jessica is devastated. Trish tries to reassure her that she made the right choice, but it doesn’t seem to sink in.   
  
They go on the hunt for Albert’s body. Trish appreciates the time together, but it’s beginning to feel hopeless when Jessica admits there’s twelve names of dead old men and their unidentified bodies on her list. Any one of them might be Albert — and then again, none of them might be.  
  
“You’re grasping at straws,” Trish points out.   
  
Jessica doesn’t want to listen. She walks away, and Trish is too tired to fight.   
  
//  
  
Jessica shows up on her doorstep, battered and bruised, ribs broken after being hit by a freaking _car._ Trish does her best to repair her, but plastic wrap can only go so far with broken bones. It hurts to see her this way, in so much pain, but there is nothing she can do.  
  
Trish tucks her under a blanket and shuts off the light, knowing that the girl probably won’t still be there when she wakes up. Still, she can’t help the wave of disappointment that crashes over her when she wakes up to an empty couch, blanket draped over the arm. She whips out her phone, punching in her best friend’s number.   
  
Jessica answers, but Trish only gets to be mad for a second. Clemons is dead.  
  
Jessica is in danger, and she’s alone. Whether or not she got that way because she left Trish behind, _again_ , is not the point. Trish is going to go find Jessica, and they were going to figure this out together. She hangs up, gathers her things, and leaves.  
  
She doesn't get far.   
  
Simpson is there and he won’t let her go. He’s on something, this Kozlov doc's magic drug, and there are men here for him for reasons she barely understands before bullets are flying.  The man she had trusted, that had seemed like he was on their side, was a stranger once again.  
  
Without missing a blink, he raises his gun. Simpson shoots them both, locks her up, and steals her phone. He says this is his way of keeping her safe, and she can’t help but think that she prefers Jessica’s.   
  
//  
  
As usual, Jessica shows up to save her, but she isn’t strong enough to compete with Simpson’s artificial strength, not with her broken ribs. So they run, they hide in the bathroom, but it won’t last. He's pounding away at the other side of the door.   
   
They’re out of time and out of options. The wood is splintering, Simpson is going to kill Jessica and Trish can’t let that happen.   
  
It is her turn to do the saving.   
  
So she does; she takes the pill and it feels amazing. Her training has paid off, each move executed perfectly, and sure, Simpson may be holding back but it feels so good to be the one defending for once, to be the hero. Jessica joins her and side by side they take him down.   
  
In the end, Trish isn't sure if he’s dead or just unconscious. She doesn’t check. She doesn’t care, she just wants to keep moving, to fix everything while she feels this good. She’s on top of the world, and there’s _Jessica_ , alive and well and looking at her like she had three heads. 

Jessica doesn’t seem as excited at her newfound strength, eyeing her warily from across the room, and a few moments later Trish remembers why. Her lungs suddenly ache, idle for a few seconds too long,  and she wills them to move, to inhale, for her chest to rise or deflate or do something but it _won’t_ and her vision blurs as she falls to the ground.   
  
The last thing she sees is Jessica’s face and that’s just fine with her.   
  
//  
  
Okay, maybe its not the last thing she sees. But it _is_ the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes again after thinking she never would get another opportunity, and that almost means just as much.   
  
She can’t tell what’s going on, but it doesn’t matter. She’s alive, Jessica’s alive, and she can’t help but feel happy.   
  
“Just had to be a hero, didn’t you?” Jessica asks, grim tone not hidden by the relieved laugh that falls from her mouth.   
  
Trish tries to smile. “I learned it from you.”   
  
It all feels worth it when she wakes up in a hospital bed with Jessica at her side.    
  
//  
  
Jessica calls and asks her to pick her up. Trish doesn’t like where this is going, the finality of their conversation on the drive, but she doesn’t argue because she knows it has to be done. Kilgrave must die. They’re close to the end, and she’s terrified.  
  
“What is this, last words?” Trish asks when Jessica is about to leave. She lets out a tight laugh. Jessica doesn’t smile.   
  
The conversation is going by too fast, and its not about any of the right things. This feels like the end of something big and she doesn’t know what to say, what she could possibly say to tie up all their loose ends.   
  
Jessica asks her not to lose her iron will, and she won’t, not when it comes to saving her best friend. She tries to follow her out of the car, but Jessica stops her.   
  
And Trish lets her. She’ll stay behind and wait for her call.   
  
“You won’t know if I’m a minion of evil,” Jessica reminds her. _Yes_ , this might be the last time they’re face to face as each other, and she swallows the lump in her throat.   
  
“We need a signal,” she decides.  
  
It has to be something ridiculous, a safe-word of sorts. Something Jessica would never say unprompted.   
  
“Like I love you,” Jess suggests before opening her door, and now Trish is more sure than ever that this is an ending.   
  
//  
  
She feels like she can’t breathe the entire time she’s waiting. It doesn’t take long, but every second feels like sixty and her thoughts are running on an endless loop of things that could be going wrong right that very instant.   
  
And then, it happens.   
  
“Penthouse. I love you.”   
  
The phone vibrates in her hand as the message comes in. She takes a deep breath, letting her eyes linger on the words just a moment too long. Her eyes scan over the second half of the message two, three more times, before she turns off the screen and gets in the car.  
  
She can only imagine how many times she’ll reread that message in days to come if this really is the end of Jessica.  
  
//   
  
Kilgrave wants to meet at the terminal. They know where he is, and they’re going to go find him.   
  
“At least now it’ll end, one way or another.”   
  
Jessica is walking into a trap, and there is nothing Trish can do to stop her.   
  
//  
  
Okay, maybe there is one thing she can do: she can walk into the trap herself.   
  
Music blaring and face covered, she walks right up to Kilgrave and the small army he’s collected.   
  
For a moment she thinks it’s working when Kilgrave runs away.    
  
She runs and hides and waits for Jessica, and just when she thinks something has gone wrong her friend rushes up to her. They’re together for one moment, and for one glorious moment she thinks they’ve won this battle and then they turn the corner.  
  
Jessica tells her to keep her eyes down and she does what she’s told, not because she has to but because she trusts Jessica with her life.   
  
And then everything errupts into chaos. She fights as well as she can, defends herself with everything she’s got, but there’s too many of them, and soon enough she finds herself defenseless, her headphones knocked on the ground. She can’t see them, can’t find them, and has a feeling that even if she could they’d be broken anyway from the brawl around her.  
  
_Stop!_  Kilgrave yells.   
  
And so she does. So does everyone. Her eyes find Jessica, frozen in place, and her heart drops into her stomach.   
  
“Always the sodding hero, aren’t you?” he asks her, voice full of contempt.  
  
“No.” Jessica’s response is simple, and he bristles. Trish knows its what Jessica believes, deep down, if she’s under Kilgrave’s control.   
  
_I’m still not the hero you wanted me to be_ , she hears Jessica say back in her bedroom. She wishes she could have said something, _done_ something to convince her friend that she would always be her hero, that she admires her so, somuch, that she loves her and would do anything to save her from this fate. This was Jessica’s worst fear and Trish had pushed her towards it. She could have run away, could have been safe, but Trish had told her to stay.   
  
Kilgrave looks Jessica up and down, trying to decide whether or not she was under his control again, and she shudders. Trish is so afraid for her friend but she can’t move, can’t do anything to help. She’s powerless.  
  
 And then his gaze turns to Trish, and she watches as something clicks in his eyes.  
  
He turns back to Jessica with a sneer. “I wanted you to love me. But you’ve never loved anyone. You’re not even capable of it. With one exception,” he says. His finger rises, pointing towards her. Trish feels herself moving before the command even leaves his mouth.  
  
She goes to him. He caresses her and her skin crawls, but she can’t recoil. Her eyes fill with tears but they won’t fall.   
  
_This is it. The end._ She will never see Jessica again, never escape from this psycho. This is the end of her life. But Jessica would be free from him. She would save her best friend. Trish had kept Jessica here, and now she would be her ticket out.   
  
Trish is ready to accept her fate, follow Kilgrave to wherever corner of the world he'd hide her, when he turns back to Jessica, a peculiar look on his face. He smiles. Her blood runs cold, but she still can’t move.   
  
He’s in total control, and not just of Trish.  
  
She watches in fear as Jessica smiles when she’s told, when she doesn’t seem repulsed by his declarations of love.   
  
He laughs, and its sickening. He reaches for Jessica, nearly grazes her with those unwelcome fingers, and Trish can feel his hands on her again. She can only imagine what her friend is feeling in this moment, the memories this is conjuring. It had only been a year, after all. Jessica would never be ready, but this was still all too soon.    
  
They shouldn’t have come here. Trish needed more time, but there was none.   
  
“Tell me you love me,” he whispers in her ear.   
  
A trace of a smile remains on Jessica’s face as she leans past Kilgrave to look at Trish. Their eyes lock.   
  
“I love you,” she says. Trish feels her heart stop for a moment; she wills her lips to move, but no sound comes out. Jessica looks back to Kilgrave. She grabs him by the face, lets him squirm for a second, before snapping his neck.   
   
Kilgrave’s body falls to the ground. Trish feels his presence wash out of her.  
  
And then she’s free. Jessica has saved her again.  
  
Jessica stares at him, face unreadable.  She seems to relax after a moment, when he doesn’t move, spring back to life for a second time. Still, she takes a few slow steps before bending down, holding her finger to his neck for a few seconds.  
  
Trish waits until Jessica's shoulders slump before stumbling forward, her arms reaching for her friend before she’s halfway to her. Jessica stands to hug her back after a moment, one arm squeezing weakly against her back, and Trish tries to ignore Kilgrave’s lifeless form in the corner of her eye. She buries her head into her friend’s shoulder, feeling safe for the first time in months. After a moment Jess pulls away, giving Trish a shaky smile.   
  
“Want to get out of here?” Jessica suggests, and Trish laughs and nods. They make it a few feet before sirens are wailing around them — someone has called the police after the brawl. As Trish looks around, she can’t say she blames whoever it was — there are a few bodies on the ground that she’s pretty sure will not be getting back up, including Kilgrave’s.  
  
_Shit._  
  
Jessica had just snapped a man’s neck, and forty other people had seen it. Sure, they were far from Kilgrave’s biggest fans, having just nearly beat one another to death at his command, but if just one of them mentioned to the officer what Jessica had done…   
  
It doesn’t take long. An officer is approaching them with a serious look on his face within minutes. Jessica flashes her a grim smile over her shoulder as she’s led away. Trish watches as the police officer leads Jessica to his car and puts her in the back seat, her eyes catching Jessica’s through the glass as the door closes.  
  
Jessica smiles, for real this time, and even though she’s in the back of a police car it’s the most relaxed Trish has seen her in months.  
  
The police question her, but she doesn’t give them much. Hogarth is with her, and she assures her that the charges against Jessica will be dropped pretty quickly with all the witnesses to Kilgrave’s unique ability.   
  
One of the officer scoffs at her as he leaves. “You’re defending a murder,” he says darkly.   
  
Apparently the public still isn't ready to accept that people like Kilgrave could exist, and that people like Jessica are the only ones who can protect them. Trish waits for her at the jail, unable to resist running to her friend and pulling her into her arms once she sees her.   
  
For Trish, it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks. Jessica Jones would always be a hero to her.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you want to follow me on [tumblr](http://ai-ge-smak-daun.tumblr.com/), I'm always looking for blogs to follow :)


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